Vanessa Kirby and the fantastic four: what the hell should sue storm smell like?
Ah, Hollywood—the dream machine that keeps churning out remakes, reboots, and questionable casting choices. This time, the latest sacrificial lamb to the altar of Marvel fandom is Vanessa Kirby, who is supposedly set to play Sue Storm in yet another resurrection of The Fantastic Four. But let’s cut through the nonsense and focus on what really matters: What the hell should the Invisible Woman smell like?
1. Sue Storm and the Perfume of Invisibility
If there’s one defining trait about Sue Storm, it’s her ability to disappear. In the world of perfumery, this raises an intriguing question: Should she wear something ethereal and light, as if vanishing into thin air? Or should her scent be a statement of presence and dominance? For an ironic twist, imagine her signature scent as Molecule 01 by Escentric Molecules—that ghostly fragrance that some people smell and others swear doesn’t exist. Perfect for confusing Reed Richards while she conveniently disappears whenever his lectures get too insufferable.
2. Vanessa Kirby: Ice Queen with a Lethal Twist
Let’s talk about Kirby. This woman is a Nordic goddess reincarnated as a movie star—icy elegance, a piercing gaze that says "I will ruin you without raising my voice," and an attitude that screams don’t touch me unless you’re Tom Cruise doing aerial stunts in a helicopter. Her perfect perfume should reflect that: sophistication, cold detachment, and a hint of quiet danger. Delina Exclusif by Parfums de Marly is the ideal match—a fruity floral with an oud and vanilla base that whispers "class, but with a hidden dagger."
3. Niche Alternative: The Perfume of Absolute Domination
If Sue Storm is the real mastermind behind the Fantastic Four (because let’s face it, Reed is an insufferable nerd and the rest are glorified circus acts), then she needs a scent that reflects that power. Enter Roja Parfums - Scandal Pour Femme—a ridiculously expensive white floral that screams "authority and subtle manipulation." Picture Sue gliding through the Fantastic Four’s headquarters, leaving a trail of jasmine and tuberose while Doctor Doom struggles between world domination and inviting her to a high-stakes psychological warfare dinner. Exquisite.
4. What If Sue Storm Had Enough?
In an alternate universe where Sue Storm ditches the Fantastic Four, changes her name, and starts manipulating financial markets from a Mediterranean island, there’s only one fragrance that makes sense: Portrait of a Lady by Frederic Malle. Dark, commanding, with a lethal patchouli-rose combination that declares, "I know exactly what I’m doing, and you have no idea." Because let’s be honest—Sue is the one holding that team of superpowered buffoons together.
Conclusion: Smelling Good is More Important Than Saving the World
If Hollywood insists on giving us another Fantastic Four movie, the least they can do is ensure Vanessa Kirby smells like royalty. Because let’s face it, bad casting choices are forgivable, but a superhero without the perfect scent? Unforgivable. What do you think the Invisible Woman should smell like? Drop your theories in the comments—but if you say "nothing," I will mentally block you.